little girl, big thoughts.
not because i can’t live without you,
but because i can.
i have been given the opportunity in this lifetime to be safe and secured,
reciprocation is the least i could do.
i can live without you, without a doubt.
but i have been given the privilege to be with you.
i’ve learned my lesson not to be wasteful.
like handwritten poetry
raw, oh so sweet
feelings, delicately put into words
overwhelming me with a familiar narrative
i’m willing to see where this is going
clueless, one stroke at a time
a twinkle in my eye as i write down your name
i had all of the hope in the world for you
i was willing to finish every drop of ink for us
just to see where this will go
but through every chapter, a new emotion rises
when there’s love, there comes hatred
i battled with my pen in hopes of our victory
but, is the ending worth fighting for?
my wrist started to hurt
hand is becoming numb
unable to feel the pen between my fingers
barely able to finish my sentences
will i be able to see how this goes?
confusion is slowly creeping in
my body can’t handle this much
paper cuts from every turned page, making me bleed through the paper
with a mixture of tears messing up the narrative
i’m afraid to see how this ends
little did i know, i just wanted it to end
i want to accidentally bump into you. or even just catch your eye from the other side of the room.
just to give you a look. the look.
the look that i used to give you. to say that it’s still you.
it will always be you.
at the glimpse of something so beautiful, all i remember is you.
all i think about is how you would’ve adored the view.
the sun is down, and you’re not here beside me.
but in the presence of nature and with the memories of you, it feels like home.
i hope it becomes enough.
loving you either made me or break me.
loving you meant losing myself just to pick up your pieces. loving you meant drowning, just for you to surface.
was i just a stepping stone for you?
if this is the case, then why do i want to go back to you?
a vow, you said
’til death do us part
but you keep killing me
we may have lost our spark, haven’t we?
i dream big of freedom,
but never from you.
we were flying, us against the world,
we were happy, we knew what to do.
then one day, you lost your wings,
you fell down, fell out of love.
frantic, i flew down with you.
guess who’s the fool.
to feel your lips on mine gives off the most amazing sensation.
i’d do anything for another taste.
i miss you, darling. it extra hurts tonight.
staring at this blank screen, i realize that i do not have much to say. a few hours into my new chapter, and yet i already fear i may have lost it. i think to myself, did i make the wrong decision?
did WE make the wrong decision?
my most dreaded nightmare, and for you, a dream come true.
don’t worry, my love. our separation is my wake up call. i will not waste it.
i promise you.
Faster, our heart beat goes.
Harder, it thumps for each other.
More love, more of us.
Faster, our hands on each other.
Our hands all over.
Our bodies together.
My hands pin you down as I move on you.
I admire you, wanting to undress you.
To unravel the masterpiece underneath.
I go down, needy kisses left on your chest.
Marking down my territory.
Every single inch, I want to cover with my lips.
I’ll always be ready to bring heaven to your body.
More, you scream for more.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” your pretty little mouth goes.
In and out, up and down.
You dance along to the rhythm I give you.
You sing along as I make you feel the melody of the song.
Harder, I love you harder.
Heavenly sounds come from you as I do.
Tighter, we wrap around each other.
Our hands roaming.
Our bodies colliding.
Grinding.
Screaming.
Fucking.
Loving.
Intense stares exchanged.
Our foreheads, pressed together.
Can’t get enough, addicted to my lover.
Rough, gentle, fast, or slow.
As long as it’s you, I’ll always long for more.
my mind 