is it?

is it okay to miss you a little more tonight?

tell me if it’s not.

i can’t promise you that i’ll stop though. everything hurts.

i can’t go back, i don’t want to.

… do i?

hey, you.

I look at myself in the mirror, eyes are stuck in a blank stare.
I thought to myself, “Did I really come this far?”
“Am I supposed to be here right now?”

“Do I even deserve the everything I have?”
“Do I deserve everyone I have?”

“Do I deserve you?”

I look at myself in the mirror, seeing my now broken wings.
Flightless. Helpless. Hopeless.

I really hit the ground hard, huh.

“Welp,” trying to look at myself straight in the eye, my chin up.
“I guess I’m walking, then.”

So I walk. I walk towards my destination, my plan from the very start. With or without wings.

But every step I take is excruciating. I am only meant to fly, but that doesn’t mean that I always get to.

But that also doesn’t mean that I can’t get to where I want to go.

a broken promise

a vow, you said
’til death do us part
but you keep killing me

we may have lost our spark, haven’t we?

optimism.

The light of the night

Feet dangling upon the city view

You can see the cars passing by, but you’re far away

Drink in your tired hand, you breathe in

It’s been a long day of fighting

It’s always a long day, right?

But by the end of it, you realize

That the sunrise you will see when you wake up

Is the same sunrise you would look forward to see each day

Chin up. It will be okay.

Your own sun will rise, I promise.

no escape.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Everyone, including myself.

Mistakes that led to guilt, followed me to my sleep.

Swallowing me whole, hugging my whole-being.

I have dreamt of a lot of things.

But reliving my mistakes as I drift off to my nightmares were always the worst.

Have you ever experienced that?

The sensation, punching you in your heart.

And as soon as you wake up, your heart runs, beat after beat.

I have. Every single night.

And I don’t know how to escape.

I have no one to escape to, from myself.

why?

people ran away from me.

even when i begged for them to stay.

is this a way?

to hurt me?

to kill me?

inevitable misery.

oh, how i wish i could stop.

gone.

so many mistakes, all i want to take back.
bury it six feet under, let the amnesia hit me.

but as much as i want to, i cannot.
as selfish as it sounds, i want to escape.

disappear without a trace.

#2

to feel your lips on mine gives off the most amazing sensation.

i’d do anything for another taste.

i miss you, darling. it extra hurts tonight.

intensity.

Faster, our heart beat goes.
Harder, it thumps for each other.
More love, more of us.

Faster, our hands on each other.
Our hands all over.
Our bodies together.
My hands pin you down as I move on you.
I admire you, wanting to undress you.
To unravel the masterpiece underneath.

I go down, needy kisses left on your chest.
Marking down my territory.
Every single inch, I want to cover with my lips.
I’ll always be ready to bring heaven to your body.

More, you scream for more.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” your pretty little mouth goes.
In and out, up and down.
You dance along to the rhythm I give you.
You sing along as I make you feel the melody of the song.

Harder, I love you harder.
Heavenly sounds come from you as I do.
Tighter, we wrap around each other.
Our hands roaming.
Our bodies colliding.
Grinding.
Screaming.
Fucking.
Loving.

Intense stares exchanged.
Our foreheads, pressed together.
Can’t get enough, addicted to my lover.
Rough, gentle, fast, or slow.
As long as it’s you, I’ll always long for more.

accept.

speak out, speak loud
your sea of thoughts
before you drown

you hide in the shadows
just calling out the names
you are just the person, looking out the windows

there’s a world more than what you know
more than whom you are with
more than the memories in a photo