hey, you.

I look at myself in the mirror, eyes are stuck in a blank stare.
I thought to myself, “Did I really come this far?”
“Am I supposed to be here right now?”

“Do I even deserve the everything I have?”
“Do I deserve everyone I have?”

“Do I deserve you?”

I look at myself in the mirror, seeing my now broken wings.
Flightless. Helpless. Hopeless.

I really hit the ground hard, huh.

“Welp,” trying to look at myself straight in the eye, my chin up.
“I guess I’m walking, then.”

So I walk. I walk towards my destination, my plan from the very start. With or without wings.

But every step I take is excruciating. I am only meant to fly, but that doesn’t mean that I always get to.

But that also doesn’t mean that I can’t get to where I want to go.

a broken promise

a vow, you said
’til death do us part
but you keep killing me

we may have lost our spark, haven’t we?

i am.

i dream big of freedom,
but never from you.

we were flying, us against the world,
we were happy, we knew what to do.

then one day, you lost your wings,
you fell down, fell out of love.

frantic, i flew down with you.

guess who’s the fool.

not okay.

been hurting for a while, but it’s okay.
you are the reason why.

it’s not okay.
but it is.

as long as you’re okay, it’s okay that I’m not.

gone.

so many mistakes, all i want to take back.
bury it six feet under, let the amnesia hit me.

but as much as i want to, i cannot.
as selfish as it sounds, i want to escape.

disappear without a trace.

solution?

i am unsure about everything, and nothing.
as i lose my mind, i lose everyone.

each word said, one new mistake.
to permanently shut my mouth, means death.

much better.

we need rest.

i see you. how are you?

i’m not doing fine, thank you for not asking.
i’m trying to hold up, but the universe is not letting me.

but i will be okay.

soon.

intensity.

Faster, our heart beat goes.
Harder, it thumps for each other.
More love, more of us.

Faster, our hands on each other.
Our hands all over.
Our bodies together.
My hands pin you down as I move on you.
I admire you, wanting to undress you.
To unravel the masterpiece underneath.

I go down, needy kisses left on your chest.
Marking down my territory.
Every single inch, I want to cover with my lips.
I’ll always be ready to bring heaven to your body.

More, you scream for more.
“Fuck, don’t stop,” your pretty little mouth goes.
In and out, up and down.
You dance along to the rhythm I give you.
You sing along as I make you feel the melody of the song.

Harder, I love you harder.
Heavenly sounds come from you as I do.
Tighter, we wrap around each other.
Our hands roaming.
Our bodies colliding.
Grinding.
Screaming.
Fucking.
Loving.

Intense stares exchanged.
Our foreheads, pressed together.
Can’t get enough, addicted to my lover.
Rough, gentle, fast, or slow.
As long as it’s you, I’ll always long for more.

accept.

speak out, speak loud
your sea of thoughts
before you drown

you hide in the shadows
just calling out the names
you are just the person, looking out the windows

there’s a world more than what you know
more than whom you are with
more than the memories in a photo