To me.

Why???? Am I???????? Like this?????????

Why do I always ruin things????????????

Bakit???????? Ang tanga tanga ko??????????

Why the fuck am I so sensitive and immature?????????

Wala akong kwenta, ponyita.

fak.

My heart is hurting. You’re the reason why.

It’s killing me, word per word. Thought per thought.

I know things change. But our love will remain.

I hope you’re still willing to fight, as am I.

Only one.

You are not real. I am convinced that you are not real. You are just a figment of my imagination. It is impossible that someone like you exists in this world. You are a dream. A dream I wish to come true. A wish. I do not believe in such myths, I would use every opportunity of shooting stars, dandelions, wishing wells, and the likes, just to hope for more chances with you. I wish to have you. To be with you.

You are the only one I want. No matter how hard to attain, you are the only one.

…

My thoughts are driving me crazy.

I’m falling into a pit, endlessly.

Whenever I come back, I’m empty.

All I want is to be loved, tenderly.

And yet, all I’m in now is slavery.

Slavery.

Save me.

Slave.

I will wait for you.

I will quiet down. Silenced.

I will not feel, as long as it is not what you want me to feel.

I will not ask for you. I will wait for you to ask for me.

I will be right here, only if you want me to be.

I will be a slave. To your love, I will be a slave.

It is always you before me.

No matter how unfair.

No matter how much I want to speak out.

How much I want to feel.

You before me.

I will stop being myself, if it means you will love me more.

I will follow the rules. Just please.

Don’t leave me.

inspired

your eyes shine bright

in the darkest of nights

you take me up so high

as the stars in the night sky

Bad memory.

“Come back, come back!”

I scream my heart out at you.

But you covered your ears with pride,

Leaving me alone to die.

Fire.

Coldness crept into your heart.

Your eyes, staring at me, emotionless.

I tried my best to provide you warmth.

But instead, I lit you up, a deadly, blazing fire.

Giving you the power to turn me into ashes.

You stayed.

Love used to be something I am afraid to give. People stole it from me. They used it. Then, they give my heart back to me, torn to tiny bits and pieces.

But then, you came. You came, and you stayed. You stayed, and you proved yourself worthy.

Worthy of my heart.

Worthy of my love.

But I haven’t.

Betrayed by my own words.

So lost, deep thoughts.

My own emotions drove you away.

Making you believe I stopped loving you.

But I haven’t.